The New Yorker Motel's Patio Pre-Renovation

The New Yorker’s Patio Post-Renovation

. Calling itself a motel itself was inherently a problem: Did you know that people will pay up to three times more per night just to stay at a hotel over its poor cousin, the motel? However, the moniker was only the beginning of this Miami boutique’s problems. Poop in the toilet (seriously), a poorly designed billing system and a plethora of competition plagued the owners of the New Yorker — who better to whip a motel into a sleek Miami boutique hotel than the boss himself?! Check out the best moments from last night’s episode after the jump!

Melchiorri showed us his sensitive side when working with the owners of the New Yorker — the family biz is over a million bucks in debt and are showing no signs of climbing out of that hole anytime soon. However, by putting his team to task — and souping up the family van — Melchiorri managed to help a family come together that was torn apart by its business woes.

Melchiorri says bug beds live in the wood. Note to self: Replace anything wooden with metal if possible. Immediately. Bugs skeeve me out. Also learned this week: A space filled with varying heights, like the hotel’s patio was prior to the renovation, creates a cluttered area with no sense of calm — exactly what someone isn’t looking for on vacation. Keeping things uniform, as designer Blanche Garcia did with the paper lanterns above, offers up a Zen-like atmosphere that may keep guests from trekking the additional 20 minutes to South Beach.

As a favor to the family, Melchiorri stole dad Walter’s whip (and by whip, we mean multi-functional family van/airport shuttle) and got it a fresh paint job, complete with the hotel’s signage and logo. And since this van travelers to and from Miami International Airport at least once a day, hundreds of eyeballs will see “The New Yorker Boutique Hotel” every day. Although Walter didn’t pay for the fix-up, we can guarantee it would cost far less then say, purchasing a billboard on I-95.

According to Melchiorri, paying for internet access is the most common complaint amongst business travelers. And with so many corporate travelers racking up miles on a daily basis, it’s imperative to keep this clientele happy — and wanting to return. Many of the hotels we review here on zzdtravel don’t provide free Wi-Fi, which in our books, isn’t a major don’t.

Although gross, it was still pretty hilarious. ‘Nuff said.

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