The hotel's entrance pre-makeover...

…and after. Don’t you love the bold address?

OMG, you guys! Just as we were about to start writing our recap of last night’s insane episode of Hotel Impossible, we were informed that the Anthony Melchiorri — aka the intrepid host of Hotel Impossible — was in our very own conference room. [Ed note: We couldn’t help but be a little starstruck, come on now. Our business is hotels!] Anyway, as we were saying, last night was truly epic. Let’s just say Anthony, designer Blanche Garcia, and the many helpers involved turned a sh*thole into a 3-pearl hotel that could easily attract hoards of Spring Breakers and beachcombers along the Gulf during its peak season. And with Corpus Christi attracting over 6 million tourists per year, it was critical that the Hotel Corpus Christi Bayfront make some improvements, Anthony style obvi. Find out our favorite moments from last night after the jump!

1. The blatant disregard of the owner, and how Anthony alerted him to the fact that his hotel had signage with two different names.

Even as an editor who rarely touches the word “business,” I’m pretty sure about one thing: Consistent branding is critical to success. And the first thing Anthony noticed when he drove up to the hotel was that it had two completely different names on two different signs. That’s not to mention that the signs were so tiny that hardly anyone would be able to figure out what the structure (errr…hotel) was. I mean, there were Post-Its covering up the lobby window. To this day we’re not sure exactly why, but they clearly had to go. Sidenote — WTF was up with that scaffolding above the entrance? Ugly, purposeless, and downright dangerous.

2. The absurd amount of dirt on the tree in the lobby.

Granted, this editor is a bit of a germophobe (I did used to pen a cleaning column), but we have never seen dirt built up like it was on the tree pretty much anyone in our lives. And yes, we were collegiate students once, too. Thankfully, Melchiorri has an incredibly keen eye for detail and noticed the unacceptable filth right of the bat. Although, that’s not to say it was the only dirt…

3. That super high-tech device Anthony used to measure the bacteria on the room phone.

We can’t remember what it’s called, but that little device (Melchiorri chalked finding it up to one of his producers) used to measure the bacteria was mind-blowing. Or rather, we should say, the amount of grime on that phone was mind-blowing. If a swabbed area scores above an 80, that means the item/surface is technically unsanitary. Remember that the room phone read 3447?!?! That’s practically enough to breed an entire army of bacteria. That thought is almost as repulsive as the room’s collection of about 20 or so cockroaches. Freaking nasty, right?

4. Anthony’s awesome idea for introducing room service.

Hoteliers, this one’s for you. According to Melchiorri, just simply offering room service can help add up to a 10% value increase on the price of a stay per night. And that’s not even including the revenue earned off the food itself. But with a diner across the street, we wonder why no one ever thought of that. Oh wait, now we remember. Because Frank, the owner, just never really cared about the hotel the way Didi, the new GM, clearly does.

5. Those amazing sheets Blanche used for the room renovation template.

Um, it’s pretty ingenious to use bedding that has the look of a coverlet blanket without actually having one. Not only does this save the hotel money on purchasing actual bed coverlets, but it provides a clean look and a seamless way to clean all the bedding at once. Blanche, this may have been our favorite makeover yet!

Anthony’s Pearls of Wisdomzzdtravel’s complete review of the Hotel Corpus Christi BayfrontBefore and after makeover slideshow